When Writing Hurts Too Much
On writer’s block, raw memories, and the pages we’re not ready to face.
Every writer has one.
A scene that lingers in the mind but never makes it onto the page.
For me, it isn’t because I don’t know what happens. I know exactly what happens. I can picture the characters, the dialogue, the fallout. The problem isn’t the scene. It’s me.
Because sometimes what we need to write is too close. Too raw. Too much like something we’ve lived.
When Writing Hurts Too Much
We talk a lot about writer’s block like it’s laziness, distraction, or fear of failure. But there’s another kind of block and it comes when the story cuts too deep.
It’s not that the words won’t come. It’s that they would, and they’d take something out of you in the process.
The body knows. I open a blank page, and instead of typing, I feel my throat tighten. My heart races. I shut the laptop. It feels like self-protection.
Why Some Scenes Have to Wait
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Not all writing is meant for right now. Some scenes need time.
Distance doesn’t weaken them. It makes them survivable.
Circling back isn’t a failure. It means respecting your limits.
The story doesn’t disappear. The moment stays with you, quietly sharpening, until you’re strong enough to face it.
And when you finally do? Those are often the most powerful scenes—the ones that stop readers in their tracks, because you wrote from a place of truth.
If You’re Avoiding a Scene Too
You’re not alone. Every writer I know has that scene. The one still waiting for them.
So here’s what I’ll tell you (and myself):
Give it time.
Write around it.
Let your future self decide when it’s safe to step in.
Because sometimes the bravest writing doesn’t force the words out.
Let’s Talk
What’s your “scene you can’t write yet”?
Is it a chapter, a line, a memory, or something you’ve circled in drafts a hundred times but never touched?
Writers block is absolutely no joke. It's definitely not laziness when it happens because it ends up in the thought loop category. Trying to untangle it. It's all invisible labor.
Just went through this with a scene myself. It was mostly to do with character motives. What's seen, what's unknown, what's true, what's a partial truth, what each character wants. If I were to put a mental image on it.. it would look like a box of tangled yarn.
This particular scene still looks like tangled yarn.. but at least the colors are sorted now.
Scenes like this mimic the quiet places hurt starts. Ones that result in misunderstanding and the cracking of relationships. Everyone thinks they're doing right. Its the where foundations of relationships start to crack. Forces me to empathizes with everyone, even if their actions scream they are wrong to do what they do, but there is a real reason why.
It's sometimes a dark headspace to be in.
Oof, this landed for me.
There are parts of my own story I haven’t written yet not because I don’t know them, but because I’m still too close to them. I think some chapters just need distance before we can put language around them.
It reminded me that waiting isn’t avoidance… sometimes it’s just honoring the version of yourself who isn’t ready to go back there yet. Thanks for putting words to that kind of block. It made me feel less alone in it.✨